Dorkiest Mech’s of 3025. (From KaS)
If you unwrap a Stalker there’s a chocolate internal structure and then a little puzzle pilot you have to put together.
2 Responses to “SomethingAwful talks Battletech”
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pacrae says: Regardless of whether or not he is lying, I believe Zach is in error as to the entomology of “ost”. An .OST file is a Micrsoft Outlook file, specially one relating to the storage of data for offline working and disaster recovery. The Ostscout and the Ostroc were early, subtle forays by Microsoft in their reshaping of the Battletech brand and were included in the 3025 Tech Readout at the behest of Microsoft designers just before the launch of FASA and Microsoft’s joint video game ventures.
The Ostscout was the more successful of the two. When used in Mechwarrior Mercenaries, the Ostscout would automatically invoke a subtle subroutine that checked the host system for proper licensing of any and all Windows products installed and immediately emailed Bill Gates himself of all violations found. The enormous drain in processor power that this caused was offset by the design of the mech itself; the Ostscout was so crappy, no one ever thought twice about the computer seizing up and crashing every time you tried to take it out onto the field.
The Ostroc on the other hand was designed to be the ultimate Easter Egg. Its round, spherical shape was a direct allusion to this, as well as the play upon the suffix “roc” which the designers intended as a double entendre of Roc (the powerful mythical bird which lays eggs) and Rock (i.e. to Rock). When the proper combo move/firing pattern was invoked, the Ostroc would enable its Rock mode, taking on a golden hue and a more stylized, hard edged appearance. In Rock mode several other combo moves/firing patterns would then unlock a whole host of features including invincibility mode, access to every mission in the game, and the non-combat pet Urbanmech, Urbie. Sadly, the combo moves/firing patterns were so complicated there is no record of any human player ever managing to unlock them.
